Here are some things we’ve never heard a pro shooter say
Sure, I’d love to do your strange fashion shoot for free! Your whimsical desire to dress in fairy costume and pose in a meadow, way outclasses whatever I might otherwise have been doing with my time, which really isn’t worth that much, anyway. All i do is push a button, LOL!
No, but seriously…
Through clenched teeth, Missy Mwac has assembled a catalog of statements that you’re just not all that likely to hear coming out of a photographer’s mouth. It’s funny, but it’s not—y’know? Many non-photographers have no idea that there are photographer pet peeves, but you’ll recognize most of these immediately. What say we regale you with a sampling of them. You’re a photographer—there’s probably nothing else you need to be doing right now.
“I keep my prices as low as possible,” she explains, “because I enjoy working really hard for less than minimum wage.”
And, still on the subject of cash, which—let’s be honest—photographers really don’t need, since they probably also have a real job, she adds: “Are you kidding? I don’t need money…the EXPOSURE I’ll get from this is enough.”
You’re squirming over that one, aren’t you. She knows just where your pressure points are.
Missy is well aware that most photographers feel almost no proprietary attachment to their work. “OH! You stole my picture and posted it, pretending like it’s yours. That’s so FUN!” She, just like you, also gets ecstatic when clients “re-edit my images and then share them on Facebook.” And it sends her into shivers of joy when she is the beneficiary of the “unsolicited opinions” from “everybody in this Facebook photography group.” There are few things she likes better. “Keep ‘em coming,” she adds, optimistically.
It’s hard for her to think of anything she’d rather be doing than “editing this wedding forever,” and, indeed, her schedule is so loose that she boasts of being able to “make a homemade meal for dinner, help with homework, give baths AND edit this mountain of images tonight.” Then she concludes, with a wink: “All before 8pm.”
After digging through this painful batch of photographer pet peeves, you will certainly be feeling the observation that she lists as #9: “I know it’s the middle of the reception and I’ve been working hard for 7 hours, but I really, really don’t want a cold margarita.”